"Bagiku ada sesuatu yang paling berharga dan hakiki dalam kehidupan: 'dapat mencintai, dapat iba hati, dapat merasai kedukaan'."
-Soe Hok Gie
Eleanorade.
Seatin on row C
Love to travel and The Beatles.
and watching some movies too.
Instagram
Twitter
Krisis
Wednesday, January 8 at around 10:59
It's been 5 days since the day i fucked up the life and cried it out loud. Ternyata sampai sekarang saya masih ogah-ogahan menata hati untuk bersiap melepaskan semua, kenyatan saja bisa-bisanya saya pungkiri eksistensinya sekarang. Entah apa memang saya hanya terlalu takut untuk meneruskan semuanya, tetapi bukankah terlalu telat untuk merasa takut sekarang ini? I'm now recalling the whole messy steps that I've took unconsciously, so stupid i need to stab myself with chainsaw.
"Jalan ini makin tidak tergapai. Aku makin putus asa. Aku bahkan tidak tahu apa yang kumau sekarang."
We are the fighter-jet of life. We don't owe airlines for a particular destination, we don't have to figure out about the baggage. We fly to kill, doing our own-made this and that maneuvers and go back to the home-base. But it's beyond complicated than that, we begin to fly far than we could handle. And i just hate it, you're forcing me to choke down my own sarcasm.
But hell it's the G-Force after all. Gravity's pressing underneath until i hear the heartbeat goes loud and louder and loudest. It hurts, it seems so wrong, all failures collided. But you crave for more.
Untuk beranjak dari kegamangan ini, Sabtu lalu saya pergi menonton SORE bersama seorang teman SMA. Sudah lebih dari cukup lullaby mereka untuk sedikit meregang duka. Entah bagaimana jadinya jika mereka tidak datang ke Jogja dan menyanyi untuk saya.
I thought I was able pouring so many tears down during Merintih Perih and whining and crying like a baby bitch, I sang along instead, less loud than everyone that were there but the loudest in heart.
 |
| SORE @ The Parade 5: En Route 2014 //Catch up my flickr for more shoots from this gig |
Hard to realize when it shall be the peak-moment of ours whilst be the start of an end-up. It's now the arrival of phase where I don't barely know how to 'just make this thing right and do it longer' anymore. I swear can't cry out things that are not worth to be cried about. I survived having these craps for years, and i'll survive another more years for the sake of, perpetually, a nothing.
Archives
Do you crave for more posts?
Chatter On
None of us living without some sparks